The 7 Hilarious Stages of Becoming a Grandma: It’s Not All Baking Cookies

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You have heard of the Seven Stages of Grief (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and processing), but did you know there are also Seven Stages of Becoming a Grandma? Unlike grief, becoming a grandma is a fun and exciting time, but it still comes with its own set of emotions that you may not realize. 

If you are going to be a grandma soon, take note, as you may soon experience one (or all) of these hilarious stages (only one of which involves baking cookies!): 

Stage 1: Sweet Denial

Super cool granny

“There must be some mistake! Surely, I’m not old enough to be a grandma!”

In this stage, the impending grandma will deny the reality of the situation, often using tactics such as misplacing her reading glasses on purpose or suddenly starting a fitness craze. Maybe she’s started wearing trendy clothes or experimenting with a bold, new hair color? Anything to prove she’s way too young and vibrant for the grandma tag. Don’t worry, this too shall pass – in fact, it’s all part of the process!

Stage 2: Terrified Googling

“What do you mean there’s a latest baby gadget for everything?!”

In the age of information, soon-to-be-grandmothers often feel the need to catch up with the latest trends in baby care. From late-night Google searches about ‘how to swaddle a baby in 2023’ to perplexedly examining the high-tech baby monitors, the grandmother is neck-deep in babyland but probably more terrified than ever.

Stage 3: Culinary Overdrive

Chocolate chip cookies

“Every good grandma needs a signature cookie, right?”

I told you that one of the stages involved baked goods! The soon-to-be-grandmother suddenly finds herself reliving memories of her grandmother’s kitchen and decides she needs her own legendary recipe. This stage includes a frenzy of baking and cooking. No one is safe from the trials of her new recipes, and the smell of freshly baked cookies, pies, and exotic dishes wafts from her kitchen at all times.

The local grocery store can hardly keep up with her demand for chocolate chips, and it’s not unusual to receive a text message saying, “Come over. Made a new batch of cookies for tasting!” (Even if it’s 11 pm.) This stage doesn’t end until she has found or created the perfect recipe that her grandchildren will remember fondly (and beg for) years down the line.

Stage 4: Nesting Obsession

“The baby will need his/her own room in my house too, right?”

Despite the fact that the baby won’t live with her, the grandma-to-be embarks on a mission to prepare her home for the new arrival. This means creating an elaborate, dedicated room at her place, complete with a crib, toys, clothes, baby books, and an emergency supply of diapers. After all, you never know when the baby might stay overnight (or for a month, she hopes).

Stage 5: The Storybook Hoarder

Library wall

“Every child needs to know about The Very Hungry Caterpillar, right?”

A sudden surge of nostalgia leads to a growing collection of children’s books. Each book selected has a heartfelt story behind it or is a classic she believes every child must experience. Her house begins to resemble a children’s library, with books ranging from Dr. Seuss to Harry Potter.

Stage 6: Unsolicited Advice Dispenser

“Back in my day, we didn’t have any of these fancy baby burping techniques…”

As the baby’s arrival gets closer, the grandma-to-be can’t help but dish out nuggets of parenting wisdom (read: unsolicited advice) to the soon-to-be parents. After all, she’s been there, done that. But remember, her heart is in the right place, even if the advice about cloth diapers doesn’t quite align with the parents’ plans.

Stage 7: Total Transformation into Super Grandma

Smiling grandmother

“Hold my coffee, it’s grandma time!”

When the baby finally arrives, all previous stages are forgotten, and a beautiful transformation takes place. The new grandma takes on her role with surprising grace and enthusiasm. From baby whisperer to diaper-changing ninja, story reader to lullaby singer, she’s got it all down. And while she might complain about the aches and pains of age, the moment she holds her grandchild, she seems to radiate youthful joy and love, proving that, indeed, becoming a grandma is an adventure full of laughs, love, and lots of warmth.

Conclusion

How many of these stages do you remember going through? I’m guilty of all seven! I hope this gave you a big smile – you deserve it, my fellow Devoted Grandma. Let’s talk again soon!

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