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One of the sad realities of life is that we will all experience loss at one time or another. However, this concept becomes even more difficult when it involves kids, especially our grandchildren. I had a friend reach out to me asking for advice on how to help her grandkids with the loss of her mother (their great-grandma), so I got to researching and found these ten ways that you, grandma, can help mend young hearts suffering from loss:
1. Be a kind and patient friend
As their loving grandma, I don’t need to tell you this, as you are already all of the above. However, it is important to re-emphasize that this loss is hard for them, too. Keep your voice gentle and your words encouraging, which can make a world of difference in getting them to open up to you.
2. Have a heart-to-heart
Make sure you’re all ears when your grandchild wants to talk because sometimes, just getting it all out there is a huge relief. Be their comforting, reassuring presence and remind them it’s okay to feel upset or angry about what happened.
3. Show them they’re safe and loved
Children need to feel safe and secure, especially when dealing with loss. Just being there for them, steady as a rock, can give them that sense of safety. Remind them, no matter what, they’ve got an entire community of people who love them to the moon and back.
4. Dive into a memory project
Children love to create (heck, so do grandmas!), so consider using that creativity and making a beautiful keepsake, like a memory book. Creating a memory or picture book is a lovely way to remember the good times and help them deal with their feelings. Fill it with photos, stories, and their favorite memories for a treasure they’ll cherish forever.
5. Teach them about bouncing back
Grief has many facets, and it is essential to teach our grandkids that it’s completely normal to grieve, but it’s also important to pick ourselves up and keep going. To further emphasize this point, share some stories about people who’ve overcome tough times to help inspire and give them hope.
6. Inspire them to express emotions creatively
Encourage your grands to express how they feel in their own unique ways. We touched on creating a memory book, but maybe they’d like to draw, keep a diary, or even write a poem or song, as giving those feelings a voice can be therapeutic.
7. Keep things as normal as possible
Even when dealing with loss, keeping to your daily routines can be helpful, as it brings a sense of normalcy and consistency that can be comforting during such a significant change in their lives. (This is an excellent reminder for adults dealing with loss, too!)
8. Foster a positive outlook
Acknowledging sadness is essential, but let’s also focus on the brighter side of life. Remind them of all the good things they still have – you can even tell them about the person they lost and how they lived their life. A little positivity can go a long way in keeping their spirits up.
9. Reach out to a professional if/as needed
If your grandchild seems to be having a tough time, reaching out to a professional like a child psychologist or a grief counselor might be a good idea, as they can offer more coping strategies.
10. Shower them with love
The most important thing you can do is show them how much you love them. (That shouldn’t be too hard for you!) In tough times, that feeling of being loved can be like a comforting blanket. It’s your biggest strength and can really help them stay resilient.
Conclusion
You may already be doing these things, so keep on keeping on with them. If you have utilized other methods for helping your grandkids cope with loss, I would love to hear them. Hang in there, Grandma – and thank you for loving and supporting your grandkids the way only a loving grandma can.
