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What is your love language? For me, I feel loved through words of affirmation and acts of service, and I show my love with gift-giving and acts of service.
Are you shaking your head because you have no idea what I am talking about?
I’m talking about the five love languages: the unique ways people show their love for someone or how they feel loved in return! I learned about the five love languages at church and quickly figured out what speaks to my husband and me, which got me wondering if these same principles apply to children.
As it turns out, they do, so I highly recommend figuring out your grandchild’s love language to communicate your love to them even more.
What are the five love languages?
The five love languages are the way we show and feel love, as “different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways.” Researched and written by Dr. Gary Chapman, the 5 Love Languages book (#ad) takes a deep dive into the various languages (physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, works of service, and quality time) and explains the science behind each of them and how you, too, can identify the love language of those closest to you.
Why is knowing your/a loved one’s love language important?
While love languages may seem like a moot point, they are very important, as we each show and feel love in entirely different ways and may not feel it quite as much if it isn’t delivered a certain way. According to Chapman, “Love and connection are essential for healthy family relationships,” adding, “Whether with your immediate or extended family, there are always ways to grow closer and love better.”
How can you figure out your (or someone else’s) love language?
You know your grandchild better than most, so you may be able to figure out their love languages fairly quickly. For example, one of my grandsons wants to cuddle, be held, and have his back rubbed 24/7. He craves physical touch because it makes him feel safe and loved. This same grandson is always making surprises for me and everyone he loves, which leads me to believe that he shows his love through gift-giving.
While you can always make an educated guess about your grandchild’s love language, you can also have them take this short, sweet, and FREE quiz.
The five love languages
Physical Touch
Physical touch is exactly how it sounds: a person craves physical contact and may not be as receptive to your love without it. Thankfully, physical touch is effortless to implement, as you can make it a point to give more hugs, cuddles, kisses, back rubs, and other kinds of physical affection. If your grand also loves giving hugs and snuggling extra close during storytime, physical touch may also be how they show love!
Acts of Service
If your grandchild’s love language is acts of service, they feel most loved when you do little things for them, whether it be baking their favorite treat, helping with their chores, or going out of your way to surprise them. Does your grandchild enjoy helping out around the house without being asked? Then their love language is probably acts of service. (Consider yourself extra lucky, grandma!)
Quality Time
Put down the phone, grandma, as your grandchild longs for as much one on one quality time with you as you can give! What will it be: An afternoon at the park? Crafts? An extended storytime? The quality time possibilities are endless (and your grandchild may suggest these things if they wish to show their love for you, too)!
Gifts
As a gift giver myself, I happen to believe this is the most fun way to express your love! (Kidding, of course.) If your grandchild is most receptive to gifts, surprise books, candy bars, and toys are the way to their heart. If your grandchild is constantly making you presents or asking to spend their allowance on other people, that’s also a pretty good sign that they show their love by giving gifts.
Words of Affirmation
You love your grandchild more than anything else in this world, so tell them and tell them often! When your grandchild’s love language is words of affirmation, you want to build them up as much as possible by reminding them of how smart they are and how proud you are when they do XYZ. On the flip side, if your grandchild shows their love through words of affirmation, expect lots of compliments and kind words.
I cannot recommend the five love languages (both the concept and the books, one of which is specified for kids and can be found on Amazon!) enough.
Learning about my husband’s was vital for our relationship; the same goes for my children and grandchildren! I highly recommend reading the book and learning more about your grandchild’s love language – trust me when I say it will strengthen your bond even more.
