Disclaimer: Devoted Grandma is reader-supported. If you purchase anything through my site, I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you). Thank you.
There is nothing better than hearing your grandchild giggle, and nothing makes them laugh more than a joke!
Whether your grandchild is a preschooler, elementary-aged, pre-teen, or a teenager, there is a corny joke that is sure to make them crack a smile, which I hope you will find in this following selection of clean, age-appropriate jokes:
Jokes for Ages 3 to 5
What kind of keys are sweet? Cookies!
What do elves learn in school? The elf-a-bet.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t “peeling” well.
What does a cow like to do on the weekend? Go to the moooooooovies.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t shower? Stinkerbelle
What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrrrrrr-ple.
Knock knock. (Who’s there?) You. (You who?) You hoo? Anybody home?
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go!
Why do giraffes have such long necks? They have really smelly feet.
What is a pile of kittens called? A Meow-tain.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sundays
What does a ghost like to eat for dinner? Spoooooook-ghetti
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Interrupting pirate! (Interup…) AAAAAR!
What kind of animal cheats at games? A cheetah!
What do you call a dancing lamb? A baaaa-lerina.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed.
What did the volcano say to the other volcano? I lava you!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Boo! (Boo who?) I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!
Jokes for Ages 6 to 9
Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania.
How do bees get to school? On the school buzz!
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Interrupting cow. (Interrupting c…) MOO!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
How do Minecraft players celebrate? With block parties!
What is a ninja’s favorite kind of shoe? Sneakers.
What do you call an old snowman? A puddle.
Where do cats go swimming? In the kitty pool.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
What animal is the worst at hiding? The leopard. He’s always spotted!
What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop.
Can February March? No, but April May!
What are two things you can’t have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
Where did the fish keep its money? In the river bank.
What did the nose say to the finger? Stop picking on me!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
What did the zero say to the eight? Hey, nice belt!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
What has lots of ears but can’t hear anything? A cornfield.
Jokes for Ages 10 to 12
What time do you go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baa-hamas.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Where does fruit go on vacation? Pearis.
Did you hear about the kidnapping on the bus? Don’t worry, he woke up.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they’re extinct.
What can you catch but not throw? Your breath.
What stories do basketball players tell? Tall tales.
How does NASA organize its parties? They planet.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why was the math book sad? It had way too many problems.
Why do kangaroo moms hate rainy days? Their joeys have to play inside.
What begins with E, ends with an E, and has only one letter in it? An envelope.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
A math problem: If you have 13 oranges in one hand and 10 apples in another, what do you have? Big hands.
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
Why did Harry Potter go bald? He lost Hedwig!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No, thank you. I prefer almonds.
Are you free tomorrow? No, I am expensive every day!
Jokes for Ages 13+
Why did the rapper need an umbrella? Fo’drizzle.
Speaking of rappers, what did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they married? Feyonce.
What did the guy say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you can’t pee soup.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
Why is the pterodactyl so quiet in the bathroom? It has a silent pee.
What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?
Why do teens travel in odd-numbered groups? Because they can’t even.
What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb? Watt’s up?
Why did Adele cross the road? To tell you “hello from the other side.”
How do you survive a deadly clown attack? You go straight for the Juggalo.
How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream.
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) To. To who? It’s to whom!
How do you know when you’re desperate for answers? You look at the second page of the Google search results.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading? Facebook.
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way? R2-Detour.
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red one? They’re both red except for the green one.
What is 89 x 5 + 7 ÷ 3? A headache.
What do you call a 65-year-old who hasn’t reached puberty? A late boomer.
I hope you and your grandchildren enjoy these as much as I do! Do you have a joke to share? I would love to hear it. Let’s talk again soon!
