15 Hilarious Things Kids Have Said To Their Grandma

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Kids say the funniest things, and fortunately, as grandmas, we hear many of these quips firsthand! I will never forget my grandma’s story about reading the Bible with my brother. When they got to the Christmas story, my brother, as serious as could be, looked at her and said, “Poor St. Joseph. The baby Jesus wasn’t even his, and he still had to walk all that way while pulling that donkey!” Cute, right? Now I am the grandma (and have several funny stories myself!) and thought it would be fun for my fellow grandmas if I made a humorous round-up of some of the hilarious things that grandkids have said:

Flickr/Christopher Holden

My grandson was 3 when his parents announced they were expecting again – this time, a little girl! One day when I was visiting, my grandson ran over to me sobbing. I asked what was wrong, and in between sobs, he told me he wanted to take his baby sister out of his mommy’s tummy so he could see what she looked like. “I even said I’d put her back, grandma!”

Once I stayed for a week with my daughter and her family. I went out front to sit on the porch while my granddaughter rode bikes with one of the neighbor girls. As they left the porch and walked toward the sidewalk, I heard the following interaction:
My granddaughter: That’s my grandma. She’s staying with us for a week! Do you have a grandma?
Granddaughter’s friend: No, I just have a nana.
My granddaughter: You should really get a grandma!

I took my 3 1/2-year-old granddaughter to lunch one day, and when the waitress brought our drinks to the table, I reminded her (my granddaughter) to use her manners. “Pwease. Fank you! Goo girl!” she excitedly shrieked.

Once my 6-year-old grandson asked me how old I was.
“Grandma, are you 20?”
“No,” I responded. “Even more than that!”
“19?!” he asked, his eyes doubling in size.
“I will be 70 this year!”
He gasped.
“Grandma, I can’t even count that big!”

I was once on the phone with my grandson, who wouldn’t speak into the receiver and was nearly impossible to hear. I asked him several times to repeat what he’d said. Finally, flabbergasted, he told me, “Grandma, you never listen loud enough!”

It was bedtime at grandma’s house, and I told my grandson it was time to head to his room. “Grammy, I don’t need a warm bed when I have you!”

My son and his family were going to Disney World. My husband (their dad and grandpa) and I were going to house-sit and went over the night before they left to get the key. My husband asked our 4-year-old grandson if he could go in their suitcase. The next day, they arrived at their hotel, and the first thing our grandson does is unzips the bag and yells, “Pops? Are you in there, Pops?”

One time the grandkids were playing at the park, and one fell off the monkey bars (after I had asked her not to do them unless her grandpa or I were there to help). I ran over to pick her up and scolded her, telling her she would be the death of me for scaring me like that. (Not the best choice of words, I know.) As I was carrying her to the bench – and between sobs – she told me, “Gigi, it’s okay because I will still be alive!”

My 3-year-old granddaughter insisted she didn’t want to do gymnastics anymore and would rather do “farty” with her brother. It took a bit, but we finally realized she was asking to do “karate”! 

One day my grandson was being a little rough and rambunctious, so I told him to sit on the steps (his time-out spot) for a few minutes to calm down. His grandpa, getting ready to go outside to grab the mail, sat down on one of the lower steps to put on his shoes, which is when my grandson asked him what he did to be sent to the steps.

We took my granddaughter to the movies, and she excitedly skipped in, asking if we could get bopcorn (popcorn), too…

Last summer, we had a big family reunion at a local park, and I volunteered to bring my “famous” homemade coleslaw. Everyone was pleased, minus my 7-year-old grandson, who informed his mom that my “cold sore” was the worst thing he’s ever tasted. 

My little grandson has always been on the ornerier side (and we wouldn’t have it any other way!). When he was 2, he sat on his chair eating an apple. His grandpa walked by and asked if he could have a little bite, so my grandson leaned over and gently bit his arm. We still laugh about it to this day! 

My daughter and our grandkids once visited, and my littlest granddaughter caught a bug. One evening, she was sitting on my lap coughing, so I gently patted her back and asked if she was okay. “I’m fine, grammy,” she responded gingerly. “I’m just coughing up a hairball.”

I’ll never forget when my granddaughter asked why Nena (me) and Papa didn’t have real names like everyone else. 

I hope these adorable quotes bring you as much joy as they have me! Now it’s your turn: What are some of the funniest things your grandkids have said? I can’t wait to hear them!

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