Your Grandkids Will Scream With Laughter At These 45 Halloween Jokes

Disclaimer: Devoted Grandma is reader-supported. If you purchase anything through my site, I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you). Thank you.

What do you get when you mix Halloween with a grandma who runs a website for other grandmas? This post!

Okay, that wasn’t funny at all (sorry), but I will make it up to you now with 45 of my favorite, grandchild-friendly Halloween jokes that will make your grandkids scream with laughter:

1. Why did the ghost go to school? To improve his boo-logy!
2. Why did the vampire brush his teeth? To prevent bat breath.
3. Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
4. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? I scream!
5. Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
6. What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs.
7. How do witches keep their hair straight? With scare spray.
8. What does a ghost call his mom and dad? His transparents!
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? He had bat breath.
11. Why don’t ghosts like to lie? You can see right through them.
12. Why did the werewolf go to night school? To improve his “howl”-ing!
13. How does a vampire flirt? “What’s your blood type?”
14. Why did the ghost bring a box of tissues to the party? He had a case of the “boo”-hoos.
15. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
16. Why did Dracula stay in bed all day? He had a bad coffin fit.
17. What did the ghost say to the other ghost? “Long time no see!”
18. Why did the mummy go on vacation? He needed a good wrap!
19. What’s a vampire’s least favorite room? The living room.
20. What do witches use on their hair? Scare-spray.
21. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
22. Why do skeletons hate the wind? It goes right through them!
23. What fruit do vampires love? Blood oranges.
24. Why didn’t the ghost get promoted? Because he couldn’t move up in the “boo”-chain.
25. How do monsters tell their future? They read their “horrorscope”.
26. What’s a ghoul’s favorite game? Hide-and-ghost-seek.
27. Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
28. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
29. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broom-mates.
30. Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween? It dampens their spirits!
31. How do you mend a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
32. What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
33. Why do ghosts love to ride in elevators? It lifts their spirits.
34. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? Ghoul-aid.
35. What’s a ghost’s favorite breakfast? Boo-berries with milk.
36. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
37. Why did the ghost apply for a job? He wanted to make a little extra “boo”-cks.
38. Why do vampires seem sick? They’re always coffin.
39. Why was the mummy so tense? He was all wound up.
40. What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.
41. What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
42. How do you write a book about Halloween? With a ghostwriter.
43. Why did the scarecrow stand-up comedian fail? His jokes were corny!
44. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
45. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone!
46. What did the zombie say to the pie? “Nice crust!”


These should provide a lot of giggles and groans for those Halloween festivities! Enjoy sharing them with your grandkids – oh, and let’s talk again soon. 

Love Being A Grandma?

Then you'll love my daily email! Over 88,500 grandmas get it to start their morning off on the right foot. It's uplifting, fun, and always completely free. Give it a try below!