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As grandmothers, I think most of us have been guilty of spoiling our grandkids a little. Maybe it’s an extra cookie when nobody’s looking, a birthday present we couldn’t resist buying, or slipping a few dollars into their hands with a wink and a whisper.
And while there’s nothing wrong with treating our grandbabies now and then, I’ve come to realize that some of the most valuable things we can give them don’t cost a single penny.
In fact, there are certain things our grandchildren can never really receive too much of. Things that help them grow into confident, compassionate, and emotionally healthy people. Things they’ll carry with them long after they’ve outgrown our laps, stopped asking us to read bedtime stories, or become too old to believe Grandma knows absolutely everything.
And the beautiful part? We don’t have to be perfect grandmothers to give them these gifts.
Here are ten things I believe we should be especially generous with.
1. Genuine Encouragement When They’re Doubting Themselves
Every grandchild, no matter how confident they seem, will have moments when they wonder whether they’re good enough.
Maybe they’re struggling with a subject at school, feeling nervous about trying out for a team, or comparing themselves to a friend who seems to do everything effortlessly.
That’s when Grandma’s encouragement can make a difference.
I’m not talking about telling them they’re the best at everything. Sometimes that kind of praise can actually make children afraid of disappointing us.
I’m talking about reminding them that they’re capable of learning, improving, and trying again.
A simple “I’ve seen how hard you’ve been working, and I’m proud of you for sticking with it” can mean more than a dozen compliments about how talented they are.
The gift we’re giving: A voice of encouragement they can eventually learn to use when talking to themselves.
2. Patience When They’re Taking Longer Than We’d Like
Goodness knows, patience can be tested when you’re waiting twenty minutes for a little one to put on their shoes!
And it doesn’t necessarily get easier when they grow older. Sometimes it’s waiting for a teenager to make a decision, an older grandchild to figure out their career, or a little one to finally understand something we’ve explained five times.
But one of the greatest gifts we can give our grandkids is the freedom to grow at their own pace.
Not every child learns quickly. Not every teenager knows what they want to do with their life. And not every grandchild is ready for the same experiences at the same age.
When we resist the urge to rush them, we communicate something important.
You don’t have to hurry through life just to make me comfortable.
Of course, we can still encourage responsibility and healthy progress. But a little patience reminds our grandkids that our love isn’t dependent on how quickly they reach the next milestone.
3. Opportunities to Feel Truly Heard
I sometimes wonder how many little stories our grandkids start telling adults but never get to finish.
We’re busy cooking dinner, checking our phones, thinking about appointments, or trying to get through the day’s responsibilities.
And before we know it, we’ve interrupted their story to ask whether they’ve finished their homework.
But our grandchildren deserve moments when they have our complete attention.
Whether they’re explaining a complicated video game, telling us about a disagreement with a friend, or sharing something that seems completely unimportant, listening teaches them that their thoughts matter.
We don’t always have to offer advice. We don’t have to turn every conversation into a lesson.
Sometimes, a warm smile and “Tell me more about that, sweetheart” is exactly what they need.
The gift we’re giving: The confidence to speak up, express their feelings, and believe their voice deserves to be heard.
4. Affection That Makes Them Feel Safe and Wanted
There is something wonderfully comforting about a grandmother’s affection.
A hug after a difficult day. A gentle squeeze of the hand. A kiss on the forehead before bedtime. Or those lovely little words, “I’m so happy you’re here.”
I think we sometimes underestimate how much these gestures mean.
And affection isn’t just for our youngest grandkids.
Our teenagers and grown grandchildren still need reassurance that they’re loved, even if they’d rather not receive a big hug in front of their friends!
The secret is learning how each grandchild likes to receive affection.
Some love cuddles. Others prefer a fist bump, a thoughtful message, or simply sitting beside us.
We should always respect their comfort with physical affection, but never stop finding ways to communicate our love.
Because no grandchild should have to wonder whether Grandma is happy to see them.
5. Reassurance That Making Mistakes Won’t Cost Them Our Love
One thing I hope all my grandkids understand is that they don’t have to be perfect around me.
They’re going to make mistakes. Some will be small, like breaking something after being told to be careful. Others may be much bigger, especially as they grow older.
And while mistakes sometimes require consequences, apologies, or difficult conversations, they should never leave a grandchild questioning whether Grandma still loves them.
Imagine how comforting it must be for a child to hear, “I’m disappointed by what happened, but that doesn’t change how much I love you.”
That doesn’t mean excusing harmful behavior or pretending everything is fine.
It means separating who our grandchild is from what they’ve done.
When children know that love doesn’t disappear after a mistake, they may feel safer admitting when they’ve done something wrong and asking for help putting things right.
The gift we’re giving: The security of knowing that they can be imperfect and still be deeply loved.
6. Genuine Interest in the Things That Excite Them
I’ll admit, some of the things my grandkids find fascinating leave me scratching my head.
There are games I don’t understand, music I wouldn’t necessarily choose, and hobbies that seem to involve an awful lot of complicated terminology!
But I’ve learned that showing interest in what excites our grandchildren is one of the simplest ways to make them feel special.
We don’t have to become experts.
We just have to care enough to ask questions.
“How did you get interested in that?”
“Can you show me how it works?”
“What’s your favorite part?”
And here’s something even better: remembering what they told us and asking about it again later.
Imagine how much it means when Grandma remembers the name of their favorite character, asks how their art project turned out, or follows up on something they were excited about weeks ago.
It tells them that their world matters to us, even when it’s very different from our own.
7. Reminders of the Good Qualities They Don’t Always See in Themselves
We, grandmothers, have a wonderful opportunity to notice qualities our grandchildren might overlook.
Perhaps one grandchild is incredibly thoughtful but doesn’t realize it. Another has a beautiful sense of humor. Maybe one is especially patient with younger children, while another has the courage to stand up for someone being treated unfairly.
These are qualities worth pointing out.
And I don’t mean the usual “You’re so smart” or “You’re so pretty.”
I mean specific observations that help our grandchildren recognize their character.
“I noticed how you included your cousin when nobody else was paying attention. That was very kind.”
“You handled that disappointment with a lot of maturity.”
“I love how you keep asking questions when you want to understand something.”
When we notice and celebrate these little strengths, we help our grandkids discover what makes them valuable beyond their appearance, grades, trophies, or accomplishments.
The gift we’re giving: A stronger sense of self-worth rooted in who they are, not just what they achieve.
8. Understanding During Their Difficult Emotional Moments
It’s easy to be the cheerful, affectionate grandma when everybody is happy.
But what about when a grandchild is moody, frustrated, embarrassed, or so upset that they don’t know how to explain what’s wrong?
Those are the moments when our understanding matters most.
Children don’t always express difficult emotions gracefully. Teenagers sometimes withdraw. Even adult grandchildren might become quiet or irritable when life feels overwhelming.
And while we shouldn’t accept disrespectful behavior, we can still try to understand the feelings underneath it.
Instead of immediately saying, “There’s no reason to get so upset,” we might say, “I can see this is really bothering you. Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Sometimes they’ll talk. Sometimes they won’t.
Either way, our willingness to respond calmly can help them feel less alone in what they’re experiencing.
And when they do need space, we can give it without making them feel guilty for not opening up immediately.
9. Opportunities to Laugh, Be Silly, and Enjoy Life
If there’s one thing I hope my grandchildren remember about spending time with me, it’s that we had fun together.
Not every visit needs to involve a meaningful conversation or an important life lesson.
Sometimes the most beautiful memories come from the silliest moments.
Dancing around the kitchen while waiting for cookies to bake. Telling absolutely terrible jokes. Making funny faces in family photographs. Singing along to songs we only know half the words to.
And yes, occasionally allowing our grandkids to see us make complete fools of ourselves!
Laughter creates a special kind of closeness.
It helps children associate our presence with happiness, warmth, and freedom to be themselves.
As they grow older and life becomes more complicated, those memories can become a source of comfort.
They may forget what we bought them for their tenth birthday, but they might never forget the afternoon Grandma tried to learn their favorite dance and nearly knocked over a lamp.
The gift we’re giving: Happy memories and the understanding that love can be playful, joyful, and wonderfully uncomplicated.
10. The Feeling That They Will Always Have a Place in Our Hearts
Perhaps the greatest gift we can give our grandchildren is the reassurance that our love doesn’t depend on how often they visit, how quickly they answer our messages, or whether their lives turn out exactly as we’d imagined.
Because the truth is, our grandchildren will grow.
They’ll become teenagers with busy social lives, young adults juggling responsibilities, and eventually people with families, careers, and priorities of their own.
There may be seasons when they call less often. Times when they can’t visit for months. Moments when we wish we were a bigger part of their everyday lives.
But our love should never become something they feel they have to earn through attention or frequent visits.
Instead of making them feel guilty for being busy, we can remind them that we’re always delighted to hear from them.
Instead of competing for a place in their schedules, we can make the moments we do share feel welcoming and pressure-free.
And instead of measuring their love by how often they reach out, we can appreciate the relationship we’re building across the different stages of their lives.
I think there’s something incredibly reassuring about knowing that somewhere in the world, there’s a grandmother who loves you, believes in you, and is always happy to welcome you home.
That’s a gift no amount of money can replace.
A Little Thought From One Grandma to Another
When I think about everything I’ve given my grandkids over the years, I can hardly remember half the toys, clothes, and birthday presents.
But I do remember the hugs, the laughter, the conversations, and those little moments when one of them needed reassurance and came looking for me.
And that makes me realize something.
The things our grandchildren need most from us aren’t always the things we can wrap in pretty paper.
They’re the things we give through our everyday words, our reactions, our willingness to listen, and the way we make them feel when they’re around us.
We won’t always get it right. We’ll sometimes be impatient, distracted, or unsure what to say. That’s part of being human.
But every new day gives us another opportunity to offer the kind of love that helps our grandchildren feel safe, capable, appreciated, and deeply wanted.
And if there’s one thing I hope my grandkids carry with them throughout their lives, it’s this:
No matter how old you get, how far away life takes you, or how many mistakes you make along the way, you’ll never outgrow Grandma’s love.
Now I’d love to know, fellow grandmas: What’s one thing your own grandmother gave you that you’re still carrying in your heart today?
