"Grandma Advice" is an ongoing advice column. All opinions and thoughts should be taken lightly, and you should always seek expert help when necessary. Thank you.
Dear Devoted Grandma, I love my grandkids to the moon and back, but I also have my own hobbies and interests that I've neglected since they were born. I want to be there for them, but I also want some "me time" to pursue my interests like painting and gardening. How do I strike a balance without feeling guilty? Sincerely, Barbara from Texas
Dear Barbara,
First of all, I want to acknowledge what an amazing grandma you are. Just the mere fact that you’re pondering this balance means you deeply care about your grandkids, but it also shows that you haven’t lost sight of yourself. And that’s a good thing.
You see, Barbara, the very best grandmas are the ones who are full and rich in their own lives. Why? Because when you are content and invigorated by your own activities, you bring that zest for life into your interactions with your grandkids. Your hobbies make you unique, and sharing what you love can be one of the most enriching gifts you give to your grandchildren.
There’s an old saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” When you spend time nurturing your own soul through painting, gardening, or whatever makes your heart sing, you’re refilling that cup. This enables you to pour love, wisdom, and time into your grandkids in a way that’s more meaningful because it’s genuinely joyful.
Guilt often creeps in when we take time for ourselves, but let’s kick that unnecessary guilt to the curb. Taking time for you is not subtracting time from them; it’s multiplying the joy in the time you do spend together.
If you’re worried about not being available every time they want to see you, remember that anticipation can sweeten any experience. Your grandkids will cherish the moments with you even more when they become special occasions rather than expected routines.
Sit down with your calendar, and start marking out “Barbara Time” just as you would doctor’s appointments or family events. During these periods, fully immerse yourself in your interests without distraction. When you’re recharged and fulfilled, you’ll bring that energy to your grandkids, teaching them the value of a well-rounded life.
In the grand scheme of things, you’ll not only be a fantastic grandma, but you’ll also be an inspiring role model. You’ll be teaching your grandkids that it’s not only okay but also essential to have passions and interests at any age.
Wishing you the joy of balance.
