"Grandma Advice" is an ongoing advice column. All opinions and thoughts should be taken lightly, and you should always seek expert help when necessary. Thank you.
Dear Devoted Grandma, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep up with my young grandchildren. They're full of energy, running around, wanting to play games that I physically can't participate in anymore. I'm starting to feel like a burden rather than a joy in their lives. How do I handle this new phase without losing the close relationship I've always had with them? Feeling Left Behind, Diane from Oregon
Dear Diane,
Your letter speaks to a universal truth of aging: We’re not as spry as we once were, but that doesn’t mean we have any less love or desire to be actively involved in our grandkids’ lives.
First of all, you’re not a burden; you’re a treasure. Our worth isn’t measured by how fast we can run or how high we can jump but by the love and wisdom we can offer. And let’s face it, Diane, we grandmas have those in spades.
Young grandchildren naturally have a ton of energy, but their interests are also extremely diverse; they can find joy in a wide range of activities. While a game of tag might be off the table, what about something less physically demanding? Board games, storytelling, or crafts can offer equally enriching experiences and offer fantastic opportunities for bonding.
Another thought: Kids love to learn new things. Is there a skill or hobby you could teach them? Maybe you can’t race around the yard, but you could teach them how to make a simple recipe, grow a plant, or even basic knitting (sorry, I know it’s a bit of a stereotype, but some classics are classics for a reason!). The key here is to switch the focus from what you can’t do to what you can do.
And remember, communication is key. If there’s a specific activity you find difficult, it’s perfectly okay to say so. You’d be surprised how understanding and adaptable children can be when they’re given the chance. Explain your limitations and then turn it into an adventure to find new activities you both can enjoy.
It’s also okay to take breaks. You’re not a superhuman, and it’s perfectly fine to need a moment to rest. You can use this as an opportunity to teach your grandchildren the value of downtime. Some of the best conversations I’ve had with my own grandkids happened when we were taking a break from the day’s activities.
While you may not be able to keep up physically as you once did, you can offer them something infinitely more valuable: your time, your attention, and your love. So, Diane, don’t lose heart. Your grandkids love you for who you are, not for what you can or can’t do.
With heartfelt understanding.
