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There’s something about saying goodbye to our grandkids that never gets easier, is there?
Whether they’ve spent the entire weekend at our house or simply stopped by for an afternoon, I always find myself wishing we had just a little more time together.
One more hug. One more story. One more chance to ask how things are going.
And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably stood at the door waving long after the car has disappeared down the street!
But I’ve come to realize that the last few words we say to our grandkids before they leave can be just as important as everything we say while they’re visiting.
Those final moments are an opportunity to remind them they’re loved, appreciated, understood, and always welcome.
And sometimes, the simplest goodbye can leave a grandchild feeling encouraged for the rest of their day.
Here are 10 things I believe every grandma should try to say to her grandkids at the end of a visit, no matter how old they are.
1. “I Really Loved Spending Time With You Today.”
This might sound obvious, but there’s a difference between telling a grandchild you love them and telling them you genuinely enjoy their company.
Our grandkids need to know that spending time with them isn’t something we do simply because we’re their grandparents.
It’s something we look forward to.
And I think that’s particularly important for older grandkids who sometimes worry that they’re not as fun or interesting to be around as they were when they were little.
Maybe your teenage grandson spent most of the afternoon talking about a video game you barely understood.
Or your granddaughter spent an hour telling you about friendship drama at school.
Even if you didn’t understand every detail, let them know you enjoyed being included in their world.
What this tells your grandchild: “Grandma doesn’t just love me because we’re family. She actually likes being around me.”
And that’s a wonderful feeling for any child to carry home.
2. “My Favorite Part of Today Was When We…”
I love this one because it does something that a simple “I had fun” doesn’t quite accomplish.
It tells our grandkids that we were paying attention.
Maybe your favorite moment was when you both burned the first batch of cookies and laughed until your stomachs hurt.
Perhaps it was when your grandson finally taught you how to play his favorite card game.
Or maybe it was something quieter, like sitting together on the porch while your granddaughter told you about her dreams.
Mentioning one specific moment makes your goodbye more personal.
It also helps your grandchild recognize that little moments can become beautiful memories.
And here’s something I’ve noticed: Sometimes the moment we remember most isn’t the expensive outing or exciting activity we planned.
It’s the unexpected conversation that happened while washing dishes.
3. “I’m So Proud of the Way You…”
We grandmas are usually pretty good at telling our grandkids we’re proud of them when they bring home good grades, win competitions, or accomplish something impressive.
But I believe the end of a visit is the perfect time to recognize something that has nothing to do with winning or achieving.
Maybe you noticed your grandchild patiently helping a younger sibling.
Perhaps they admitted making a mistake instead of blaming someone else.
Or maybe they kept trying to finish a difficult puzzle even when they were frustrated.
Tell them what you noticed.
You could say, “I was really proud of how kind you were to your little brother today.”
Or, “I noticed you didn’t give up when that game got difficult. I admire that about you.”
When our praise focuses on character rather than accomplishments, we help our grandkids recognize the wonderful qualities they’re developing.
And sometimes, they don’t even realize those qualities are there until someone points them out.
4. “Is There Anything You Wanted to Tell Me Before You Go?”
This is one of those questions I think more grandmas should ask.
Because sometimes our grandkids spend an entire visit trying to work up the courage to tell us something.
Maybe something happened at school.
Maybe they’re worried about a friend.
Maybe they have an exciting idea they’re afraid someone will laugh at.
Or perhaps there’s something they simply haven’t found the right moment to bring up.
Asking this question near the end of a visit gives them one more opportunity to open up.
Of course, we shouldn’t turn it into an interrogation.
If they say no, that’s perfectly fine.
And if they say yes just as their parents are getting ready to leave, we can offer to call or text later when there’s more time.
The important thing is reminding them that Grandma is interested in the things they haven’t said, not just the things they’ve already shared.
5. “You Never Have to Be Perfect Around Me.”
Oh, how I wish every child could grow up knowing this!
Our grandkids live in a world where they can feel enormous pressure to get everything right.
They worry about disappointing their parents, embarrassing themselves in front of friends, and making mistakes that other people might remember.
Grandma’s house should be one place where they can feel a little less pressure.
And while we don’t need to say this exact phrase after every single visit, it’s a wonderful reminder to offer, particularly when the day hasn’t gone perfectly.
Maybe your grandchild accidentally broke something.
Perhaps they were grumpy, made a mess, or struggled to get along with a sibling.
We can still teach responsibility and expect respectful behavior while reassuring them that one difficult afternoon doesn’t change how we feel about them.
Something as simple as, “We all have our moments, sweetheart. I love you just the same,” can mean so much.
Our grandkids should never leave our homes wondering whether a mistake has made them less lovable.
6. “Thank You for Coming to See Me.”
Have you ever considered how meaningful those six little words can be?
We often thank adults for visiting, but we sometimes forget to extend that same appreciation to our grandkids.
And I think we should.
As children grow older, their schedules become busier.
They have schoolwork, friends, sports, hobbies, and eventually jobs and relationships.
The time they spend with us becomes increasingly valuable.
By thanking them for visiting, we’re acknowledging that their time matters too.
We’re also showing them that we don’t take their presence for granted.
There’s another important lesson hidden in this little phrase.
We’re teaching our grandkids that relationships involve appreciation from both sides, regardless of age.
And I can’t think of a sweeter way to end an afternoon together.
7. “I’m Looking Forward to Seeing You Again.”
I think every grandchild should leave Grandma’s house knowing that their next visit is something we’re already looking forward to.
Not because we want them to feel obligated to return, but because we want them to feel wanted.
For younger grandkids, you might say, “I can’t wait until we can build another blanket fort together!”
For older ones, perhaps, “Next time you’re here, you’ll have to tell me how that school project turned out.”
And if you already have plans, mention them.
“Don’t forget, we’re making your favorite pancakes next Saturday!”
These little comments give our grandkids something pleasant to anticipate.
However, there’s one thing worth remembering.
If your grandchild has a busy schedule, try not to turn this into a guilt-filled goodbye.
There’s a big difference between saying, “I can’t wait to see you again,” and “You never come to visit me anymore.”
One makes them feel loved.
The other can make them feel responsible for our happiness.
And I’d much rather our grandkids look forward to coming back because they want to, not because they feel they have to.
8. “Remember, You Can Always Call Me.”
I love reminding my grandkids that our relationship doesn’t stop when they walk out the door.
We might not get to see each other every day, but that doesn’t mean we can’t remain part of each other’s lives.
And I think this message becomes even more important as our grandkids grow older.
A teenager might not feel comfortable discussing a problem in front of the entire family.
An adult grandchild might have a difficult day at work and simply need someone who will listen without judgment.
Knowing Grandma is only a phone call away can provide a wonderful sense of reassurance.
Of course, being available doesn’t mean expecting them to answer every call or respond to every message.
It means letting them know they can reach out when they need us.
I especially love saying, “You don’t need a special reason to call me, sweetheart.”
Because sometimes the best conversations begin with absolutely nothing important to say.
9. “Don’t Forget to Take Good Care of Yourself.”
Now, I know this sounds like something every grandma has said approximately a thousand times!
But hear me out.
There’s a lovely difference between reminding our grandkids to take care of themselves and giving them a long list of instructions as they’re leaving.
We don’t always need to remind them to wear a jacket, drink water, finish their homework, eat their vegetables, and get eight hours of sleep all in the same goodbye.
Goodness gracious, we’d still be standing at the door tomorrow!
Instead, we can offer one gentle reminder that their well-being matters to us.
For a younger grandchild, it might be, “Have fun at school tomorrow, and remember to rest when you’re tired.”
For a teenager, “Don’t be too hard on yourself this week.”
And for an adult grandchild, “Make sure you’re making a little time for yourself, too.”
I particularly love that last one.
Because as our grandkids grow up, they often become so busy taking care of their responsibilities that they forget to take care of themselves.
Sometimes a little reminder from Grandma is exactly what they need.
10. “No Matter What Happens, I Love You.”
If there’s one thing I want my grandkids to remember long after they’ve left my house, it’s this.
My love for them isn’t something they have to earn.
It isn’t dependent on their grades, their accomplishments, their behavior, or how often they come to visit.
And it certainly doesn’t disappear when they make a mistake.
I want them to know that even when life becomes complicated, even when they’re struggling, and even when they’re not particularly proud of themselves, Grandma’s love remains.
Of course, loving our grandkids unconditionally doesn’t mean agreeing with every decision they make.
Sometimes we’ll have to offer difficult advice.
Sometimes we’ll disagree.
And sometimes we’ll need to establish boundaries.
But none of those things should leave a grandchild questioning whether they’re still loved.
One of the most beautiful things we can give our grandkids is the confidence that they never have to be at their best to deserve our love.
And I think those are wonderful words to leave them with.
One Last Thought From Grandma
Something I’ve learned over the years is that our grandkids won’t always remember everything we did together.
They might forget which movie we watched, what we made for lunch, or who won that game of cards.
But I believe they’ll remember how they felt when they were leaving.
Did Grandma make them feel appreciated?
Did she notice something wonderful about them?
Did she make them feel comfortable being themselves?
Did they walk away feeling loved?
And while I don’t expect any of us to squeeze all 10 of these things into every goodbye (our grandkids would probably miss their ride home!), I do think choosing one or two can make those final moments a little more meaningful.
Because the goodbye isn’t just the end of a visit.
It’s our chance to send a little piece of Grandma’s love home with them.
And if we do that often enough, perhaps one day, when they’re grown and standing at their own front doors, they’ll find themselves saying those same beautiful words to someone they love.
