Every grandmother I know smiles when she hears the word “spoil.” We don’t spoil out of recklessness—we spoil out of LOVE. We want our grandbabies to feel special, valued, and deeply cherished. But as we’ve all learned, there’s a wise way to spoil… and a way that can accidentally cause problems later.

Let’s walk through the most important dos and don’ts to make sure our “spoiling” becomes a blessing, not a burden.

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✅ DO: Spoil them with time and attention

The greatest form of spoiling isn’t bought, it’s shared.
Sit and listen to their stories, no matter how long. Watch their favorite shows together. Let them teach you their video game. Make eye contact. Ask follow-up questions.

Children feel the most spoiled when they feel important.
Your undivided attention tells them, “You matter to me.”

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❌ DON’T: Think “spoiling” only means buying things

A lot of grandmothers feel pressure to constantly give gifts. But childhood memories are built more on moments than on merchandise.

Toys break, clothes get outgrown, gadgets get replaced.
But the memory of baking cookies at Grandma’s table? That lasts forever.

Spoil their hearts, not their toy box.

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✅ DO: Teach manners even while giving

Spoiling with love should build character, not erase it.

It’s okay to gently remind them:

• “Let’s say thank you.”
• “Let’s share with your brother.”
• “Let’s take care of our things.”

Even when we give freely, we can still maintain basic expectations of respect and gratitude.

This teaches them:
“Grandma gives generously… but she also raises good humans.”

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❌ DON’T: Undermine Mom and Dad’s rules

One of the biggest mistakes we can unintentionally make is going against the parents’ wishes. Even if we mean well, it can cause confusion in the child and tension in the family.

If Mom says no soda, don’t sneak it.
If Dad says no sleepovers tonight, don’t beg.
If they have screen time rules, respect them.

You can love your grandchild deeply without breaking boundaries.

And guess what? When parents trust us, they give us more freedom in the long run.

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✅ DO: Give experiences instead of clutter

Children remember experiences more than things.

Try:

• Movie night with popcorn in pajamas
• Trip to the zoo or park
• Cooking a family recipe together
• Craft or gardening project
• Sleepover with a “spa night” or storytelling

The best kind of spoiling is interactive, not plastic.

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❌ DON’T: Use gifts to replace your presence

Sometimes we use gifts to make up for guilt, distance, or time. But no toy can replace your voice, your laugh, or your hugs.

Children don’t need a grandmother with money…
They need a grandmother who shows up.

If you live far away, video call, send voice notes, mail handwritten letters, and play games online together. Love finds a way.

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✅ DO: Spoil them with encouragement

You can change a child’s entire self-esteem with your words.

Say things like:

• “You’re so creative.”
• “I love how kind you are.”
• “You make people happy.”
• “I’m proud of how hard you tried.”

Every child needs a cheerleader, and no one does it better than Grandma.

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❌ DON’T: Give them everything they ask for instantly

When kids get everything right away, they lose appreciation. They start expecting instead of valuing.

Sometimes it’s healthy to say:
“Let’s wait for your birthday.”
“Let’s save up together.”
“Let’s think about it first.”

Learning to wait builds:
✅ Patience
✅ Gratitude
✅ Emotional maturity

Delayed spoiling is still spoiling, just smarter.

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✅ DO: Teach life skills in fun, loving ways

One of the most beautiful ways to spoil a child is by preparing them for life.

Show them how to:

• Cook a meal from scratch
• Sew on a button
• Plant a seed
• Write a thank-you card
• Budget or save money
• Pray when they’re worried

These little lessons stick with them forever.
Skills are gifts that they never lose.

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❌ DON’T: Rescue them from every consequence

We hate seeing them struggle. But if we solve every problem for them, they never learn responsibility.

If they forget their homework, let them face it.
If they break a toy by being careless, don’t rush to replace it.
If they argue with a friend, help them think—not fix it for them.

Being their safe place doesn’t mean preventing every challenge.

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✅ DO: Create meaningful traditions

Kids may forget what you bought them, but they never forget what you always did with them.

Some ideas:

• Sunday pancakes at Grandma’s
• Birthday letter every year
• Matching pajamas on holidays
• “Grandma’s secret handshake”
• End every call with “I love you more!”

Traditions give them something to look forward to and something to hold onto forever.

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❌ DON’T: Compete with other grandparents

There is no award for “Most Spoiling Grandma.”

Each grandparent offers something different:
One travels, one bakes, one plays sports, one tells stories.

Don’t feel pressured to outdo anyone.
Love isn’t a competition, it’s a collaboration.

When we all stay humble and respectful, the children benefit from the full circle of family love.

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✅ DO: Make them feel safe to be themselves

The best kind of spoiling is emotional, not material.

Let them be silly. Let them be quiet. Let them vent. Let them cry. Let them be weird or dramatic or shy.

Let your home—and your arms—be the place where they think:
“With Grandma, I don’t have to be perfect.”

There is no greater gift than unconditional acceptance.

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💖 FINAL THOUGHT:

Spoiling isn’t about overindulging—it’s about overwhelming them with love in the right way.

We don’t spoil to raise entitled children.
We strive to raise confident, kind, joyful, secure children who always know they are deeply cherished.

When we spoil with wisdom…
✅ We build character.
✅ We strengthen bonds.
✅ We respect the parents.
✅ We create lifelong memories.

And most of all…

We leave a piece of our love in their hearts that lasts long after we’re gone.