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As a grandmother, I’ve always tried to be there for my grandchildren, offering wisdom, comfort, and love whenever they needed it. But let me tell you, there have been moments when one of them asks me for advice, and I find myself stumped! Sometimes, the world they’re living in feels so different from the one I grew up in, and their questions are about things I’ve never even heard of. But just because I don’t always have the answers doesn’t mean I can’t still help in meaningful ways. Here’s what I’ve learned about how to support them, even when I’m unsure.
1. Just Listen—It Helps More Than You Think
When my grandchild comes to me with a problem, sometimes all they really need is someone to listen. I may not have the solution, but I can sit with them, let them talk it all out, and listen without interrupting. You’d be surprised how often they come to their own conclusions just by talking things through.
I remember when my granddaughter, Emily, was having trouble with some of her friends at school. I didn’t know a thing about the social dynamics she was dealing with, but I just listened. She talked about her feelings and what was bothering her. By the time she was done, she had a clearer picture of what she wanted to do—and I hadn’t said a word!
2. Help Them Think for Themselves
I’ve found that asking the right questions can sometimes be more helpful than giving direct advice. When one of my grandkids isn’t sure what to do, I try to get them thinking about their options. I might ask, “What do you think will happen if you choose this route?” or “How do you feel about the other option?” These questions help them reflect on their own feelings and ideas.
I once did this with my grandson, Jake, when he couldn’t decide whether to study engineering or go into graphic design. Instead of telling him what to choose, I asked him, “What’s your favorite part of each one?” and “Where do you see yourself happiest in the future?” Those questions helped him weigh things on his own, and he made a choice he felt good about.
3. Tell Your Own Stories
We grandmas have lived long enough to have plenty of stories to tell! I don’t always know exactly what to do, but I can share experiences from my life that might help guide my grandchildren. Even if the situation isn’t the same, sometimes just hearing how I handled something gives them a new perspective.
For example, when my grandson, Ben, was unsure about moving to a new city for a job, I told him about the time I took a leap of faith and moved across the country when I was younger. It wasn’t easy, and there were plenty of unknowns, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Hearing that gave him some courage to take the risk.
4. Research Together—Learning Isn’t Just for the Young
If I don’t know the answer, I see it as an opportunity for us to learn together. The world today moves fast, and there’s so much information out there. I’ll tell my grandchild, “Let’s look it up together!” and we’ll search online, read articles, or even head to the library. It’s a bonding experience, and they appreciate that I’m willing to dive into their world and figure things out alongside them.
When my granddaughter Sophie wanted to learn about investing money—something I’m no expert in—we sat down together and explored websites, watched videos, and learned about it step by step. Not only did we find the answers she was looking for, but we also spent quality time together, which was the best part for me.
5. Point Them in the Right Direction
I may not always have the exact knowledge my grandchild needs, but I usually know where to point them. Maybe it’s suggesting a book, a website, or a person they can talk to who knows more than I do. My role can be as simple as guiding them toward the resources that will help them find the answer.
I once told my grandson, David, who was thinking about starting a business, that he should reach out to his uncle, who had run his own company for years. I didn’t have the business acumen, but I knew someone in the family who did. Sometimes just making those connections is all they need.
6. Offer Comfort and Reassurance
There are times when my grandchild doesn’t need advice or solutions—just a reminder that everything is going to be okay. As grandmothers, our strength lies in our ability to offer love and comfort in any situation. When my grandchild is overwhelmed, I remind them that it’s okay to not have all the answers right away. Sometimes, they just need a hug and to hear, “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
When my granddaughter Rachel went through her first heartbreak, there wasn’t much I could do to fix it. But I could be there to hold her and remind her that she’s strong and that things will get better, even if it doesn’t feel that way now.
7. Encourage Their Independence
One of the best gifts we can give our grandchildren is the confidence to solve their problems on their own. Instead of giving them the answer, I help them break things down and think through the steps they can take. It’s a way of teaching them that they are capable of handling things themselves.
When my grandson Ethan was anxious about an exam, I didn’t know much about the subject, but I helped him create a study plan. I suggested, “Why don’t we break the material into smaller chunks? That way, it won’t seem so overwhelming.” He did the hard work himself, but I gave him a little nudge to help him along.
8. Be a Safe Haven
One thing I’ve learned as a grandmother is that my grandkids sometimes need a place where they feel safe, where they won’t be judged. I make sure they know that my home is always a place where they can come and be themselves, no matter what they’re dealing with.
I remember when my grandson, Alex, confided in me about feeling unsure of his career path after college. He felt lost and didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t have the perfect answer for him, but I assured him that it was okay to feel uncertain and that he had time to figure things out. Just having a place to express those feelings made him feel better.
9. Suggest Other Perspectives
Sometimes, all my grandchild needs is to hear a different viewpoint. If I don’t know the answer, I might suggest they talk to someone else who’s been through something similar. It’s a way of broadening their perspective and helping them see their situation from another angle.
When my granddaughter Lily was confused about whether to switch schools, I suggested she talk to her cousin who had gone through the same experience. Hearing how her cousin handled the transition gave Lily the confidence to make her decision.
10. Show How I Solve Problems
I’ve learned a lot in my life, and even though times have changed, the way I tackle problems can still serve as an example for my grandkids. Whether it’s handling money, making tough decisions, or navigating family issues, I try to show them how I approach uncertainty.
For instance, when my grandson Matthew asked me for advice on managing his budget, I showed him how I keep track of my own household expenses. I told him, “This might not be the fanciest way, but it’s worked for me for years,” and I walked him through my method. Sometimes, just seeing how we handle our own lives gives them the tools they need to solve their problems.
So, even when I don’t have all the answers, I know there’s still plenty I can do to help my grandchildren. Whether it’s listening, guiding, or simply being there, my role is to support them in any way I can. After all, it’s not always about having the perfect solution—it’s about being the loving, steady presence they can count on.
