Disclaimer: Devoted Grandma is reader-supported. If you purchase anything through my site, I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you). Thank you.
As grandparents, we often ask our grandchildren questions because we care about them. We want to know how they’re doing, whether they’re succeeding in school, and what is happening in their lives.
But if we’re honest, many of our questions tend to focus on responsibilities.
“How was school?”
“Did you finish your homework?”
“What grade did you get?”
“Are you staying out of trouble?”
While there’s nothing wrong with these questions, they don’t always help us discover who our grandchildren really are.
Many grandchildren secretly wish adults would ask more questions about their interests, feelings, dreams, and experiences. They want adults who are curious about what makes them happy, what excites them, and what life feels like from their perspective.
The good news is that asking better questions doesn’t require special skills. It simply requires genuine interest.
Here are some of the questions your grandchild probably wishes more adults would ask.
“What’s something you’re really interested in right now?”
Every grandchild has something that currently fascinates them.
For one child it may be dinosaurs. For another it may be basketball, drawing, music, video games, animals, fashion, science, or cooking.
Unfortunately, adults sometimes dismiss these interests because they don’t share them.
Your grandchild, however, would love to talk about them.
When you ask about their interests, you’re telling them that what matters to them matters to you.
That simple message can strengthen your relationship more than you realize.
“What are you looking forward to most?”
Children and teenagers spend a lot of time anticipating future events.
Maybe they’re excited about summer vacation.
Maybe they’re counting down to a birthday.
Maybe they’re looking forward to a school trip, a sports tournament, or seeing a friend.
When you ask what they’re excited about, you’re focusing on the positive things happening in their world.
That creates enjoyable conversations and helps you understand what they value most.
“What’s the best part of your day?”
Most adults ask children about what they accomplished.
Few ask them about what they enjoyed.
This question helps grandchildren reflect on the moments that make them happy.
You might hear about recess, lunch with friends, soccer practice, art class, family dinner, or a funny moment that happened during the day.
These answers often reveal what truly brings joy into their lives.
“What do you wish adults understood about kids your age?”
This question can open the door to some fascinating conversations.
Many grandchildren feel that adults don’t fully understand the challenges they face.
School pressure, friendships, social media, fitting in, and growing up in today’s world can feel very different from what adults experienced.
By asking this question, you’re showing humility.
You’re admitting that there may be things you don’t know.
And grandchildren appreciate adults who are willing to listen rather than lecture.
“What’s something you’ve learned recently that surprised you?”
Children are learning constantly.
The problem is that adults don’t always ask about what they’re learning outside of school assignments.
Maybe your grandchild recently learned a fascinating fact about space.
Maybe they discovered something about history, animals, technology, or nature.
Their answer may surprise you—and it gives them an opportunity to share something they find exciting.
“What makes you happiest these days?”
This question helps you understand what currently brings joy into your grandchild’s life.
The answer may not be what you’d expect.
Some grandchildren will mention friends.
Others will mention pets, hobbies, sports, books, music, or simply spending time with family.
When you know what makes your grandchild happy, you gain valuable insight into their emotional world.
“What’s something you’re proud of?”
Children often hear about what they need to improve.
They don’t always get opportunities to talk about what they’re doing well.
This question encourages them to recognize their own achievements.
Perhaps they’re proud of learning a new skill.
Perhaps they’re proud of being brave in a difficult situation.
Perhaps they’re proud of helping someone.
These conversations help build confidence and self-esteem.
“If you could spend a whole day doing anything you wanted, what would you do?”
This is one of the most revealing questions you can ask.
It allows your grandchild to dream.
Some children will describe exciting adventures.
Others will describe simple pleasures.
Their answer tells you a lot about their personality, priorities, and interests.
It may even give you ideas for activities you can enjoy together.
“What makes you feel understood?”
Everyone wants to feel understood.
Children are no exception.
This question helps grandchildren identify the people, situations, and conversations that make them feel accepted.
Their answers can teach us how to become better listeners and more supportive grandparents.
Often, feeling understood has less to do with giving advice and more to do with being present.
“What do you enjoy talking about that people don’t ask you about very often?”
Many grandchildren have subjects they absolutely love discussing.
The problem is that nobody asks.
Maybe they love astronomy.
Maybe they’re passionate about trains, photography, animals, coding, art, or sports.
This question hands them the steering wheel.
Instead of deciding what the conversation should be about, you’re letting them choose.
And when people get to talk about something they genuinely enjoy, their enthusiasm becomes contagious.
“What’s been making you smile lately?”
Life can be busy and stressful.
This question encourages grandchildren to notice the good things happening around them.
Sometimes the answer will be something big.
Other times it will be something wonderfully small.
A funny joke.
A kind friend.
A favorite teacher.
A family memory.
These conversations help create positive connections and happy moments together.
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?”
Children are naturally curious.
Many have dreams and interests they’ve never had the chance to explore.
Perhaps they’ve always wanted to learn an instrument.
Perhaps they want to try rock climbing, painting, baking, or photography.
Their answer may reveal passions that are waiting to be discovered.
As grandparents, we are often in a wonderful position to encourage those interests.
“When do you feel most confident?”
Confidence is important, but it develops differently for every child.
Some feel confident when they’re helping others.
Some feel confident when they’re creating something.
Others feel confident when they’re solving problems, playing sports, or performing.
Understanding when your grandchild feels confident helps you encourage them in meaningful ways.
“What’s something that worries you sometimes?”
Not every important conversation is about happiness.
Grandchildren often carry worries they don’t talk about.
School.
Friendships.
The future.
Fitting in.
Family issues.
This question creates a safe space for them to share concerns.
The key is to listen without immediately trying to solve everything.
Sometimes children simply want to know someone understands.
“What makes you feel loved?”
This may be the most important question on the entire list.
Every child experiences love differently.
Some feel loved through quality time.
Others feel loved through encouragement.
Others feel loved through hugs, support, shared experiences, or simply having someone listen to them.
When you understand what makes your grandchild feel loved, you can connect with them in ways that truly matter.
The Real Secret Isn’t the Question
While all of these questions are valuable, the real magic isn’t in the question itself.
It’s in what happens after you ask it.
Many adults ask questions only to interrupt, correct, advise, or shift the conversation back to themselves.
What grandchildren often want most is something much simpler.
They want someone who genuinely listens.
Someone who is curious.
Someone who doesn’t immediately judge or solve.
Someone who wants to know the real person behind the grades, activities, and accomplishments.
The next time you’re talking with your grandchild, try asking one of these questions.
Then pause.
Listen carefully.
Show interest.
Ask follow-up questions.
You may discover things about your grandchild you’ve never known before.
More importantly, your grandchild will discover something too:
That there is an adult in their life who truly wants to know who they are.
And that’s a gift they’ll never forget.
