As grandmothers, our hearts practically burst with pride when it comes to our grandchildren. We’ve lived long enough to know that joy multiplies when it’s shared, so it feels only natural to tell our friends, neighbors, and church groups about the wonderful things our grandkids are doing. But here’s the thing: while our intentions are filled with love, our grandchildren have their own ideas about what they’d like us to announce to the world and what they’d rather keep private.
It’s a balancing act: we want to celebrate them, but we also want to protect their trust. Let’s take a look at the areas of their lives they usually enjoy us publicizing, as well as the ones they’d prefer we keep just between us.
Areas They Love Hearing You Publicize
1. Achievements and Successes
When our grandchild wins a spelling bee, aces their math exam, or scores the winning goal, they often feel ten feet tall knowing Grandma is out there bragging a little on their behalf. Sharing their achievements tells them, “I’m proud of you, and others should know how great you are, too.”
Example: If your grandson wins “Student of the Month,” and you proudly tell your Bible study group, “That boy works so hard, and he earned it,” you’re reinforcing the value of effort. Most grandkids love that kind of spotlight, it makes their hard work feel meaningful.
2. Talents and Hobbies
Grandkids are delighted when we notice their passions, whether it’s sketching comic book characters, baking brownies, coding a video game, or perfecting cartwheels in the backyard. Publicizing their talents is a way of saying, “I see you, I believe in what you love, and I want others to admire it too.”
Example: Your granddaughter may light up when you tell your neighbor, “She baked this cake all by herself, and it turned out just perfect!” Suddenly, her little hobby feels like an accomplishment worth sharing.
3. Positive Character Traits
Sometimes, bragging about who they are inside means more than anything else. Noticing kindness, patience, courage, or responsibility touches them deeply because those aren’t always things they get awards for at school.
Example: Imagine telling a friend at the store, “My grandson always carries the groceries in for me without me asking. He’s so thoughtful.” That kind of praise sticks with them. It builds their sense of identity and self-worth far beyond grades or trophies.
4. Shared Adventures with You
Grandchildren enjoy hearing you talk about the fun you have together. It assures them that you treasure those moments just as much as they do. Whether it’s baking, fishing, or playing board games, these stories make them feel valued and remembered.
Example: “You should’ve seen us trying to build a gingerbread house last Christmas. The roof caved in, and we laughed so hard!” Telling that story to your quilting group not only makes you smile but also lets your grandchild know the memory is precious enough to retell.
5. Celebrations and Milestones
Grandchildren expect birthdays, graduations, recitals, and first jobs to be recognized. They want the joy of their special moments echoed in the wider family and community. Publicizing these milestones helps them feel surrounded by a supportive circle that celebrates their growth.
Example: Sharing a sweet post on social media for their 16th birthday, with a message like, “Sixteen years ago today, God gave us this beautiful gift,” can make them feel honored and cherished.
Areas They Don’t Like You Publicizing
1. Embarrassing Childhood Stories
While we find “baby moments” adorable, children, especially teens, don’t always share our view. What we see as sweet can be mortifying to them.
Example: You might laugh while telling your church friend, “He used to run around the yard with no pants on!” But if your grandson hears about it, he may feel embarrassed or even resentful. To them, those moments are private, not public entertainment.
2. Personal Struggles
No child wants to be remembered for difficulties instead of strengths. Sharing their academic challenges, behavior issues, or health struggles can make them feel exposed.
Example: Saying, “She’s really struggling in math this year,” may feel like a small comment to you, but to your granddaughter, it could feel like a breach of confidence. Children want encouragement, not a spotlight on their hardships.
3. Social Life and Friendships
Grandkids are protective of their social world. Talking about who they like, who they argue with, or who they spend time with can feel like an invasion of privacy.
Example: Mentioning to your neighbor, “He’s got a little girlfriend now,” may earn you an annoyed glare later. They want control over how and when those details are shared.
4. Private Conversations
Sometimes, grandkids tell us secrets or dreams because they trust us. Breaking that trust by sharing—even with good intentions—can hurt the relationship.
Example: If your granddaughter confides that she wants to be a singer but hasn’t told anyone else yet, and you tell a friend, “She’s planning to be a star!” she may feel betrayed. Dreams can be fragile things, and grandkids need the freedom to share them on their own terms.
5. Anything That Makes Them Feel “Different”
Grandkids often don’t want attention drawn to things that separate them from their peers. Whether it’s being tall, shy, having food allergies, or wearing glasses, they want those things to blend into the background, not be highlighted.
Example: Saying, “My grandson is the tallest in his whole grade,” might seem like a compliment to you, but if he’s self-conscious about it, he might feel singled out.
Finding the Balance
So how do we know what to share and what to hold close? The best guideline is this:
- If it builds their confidence, share it proudly.
- If it could embarrass them, keep it private.
When you’re unsure, it’s perfectly fine to ask. Saying, “Sweetheart, do you mind if I tell Auntie about your artwork?” shows respect. It also teaches them that their voice matters and that they can set boundaries with the people who love them most.
The Deeper Impact of Respect
When we’re careful about what we publicize, something wonderful happens: our grandchildren trust us more. They begin to see us as safekeepers of their hearts. Instead of pulling away, they lean closer, knowing we will celebrate their victories while protecting their vulnerabilities.
And let’s be honest, when they’re older, they won’t remember every ribbon or soccer goal. But they will remember how Grandma handled their stories, with pride, with care, and with dignity.
Final Thought
Being a grandmother means being both a cheerleader and a protector. Our grandchildren love when we are their biggest fans, but only if we cheer in ways that lift them up rather than embarrass them. By respecting the line between public celebration and private trust, we show them not only how much we love them but also how deeply we respect them.
After all, our goal isn’t just to be proud—it’s to make them feel proud, too.