As grandmothers, we may not be in the classroom with our grandkids or know every detail of their school life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spot when something’s wrong. Children often carry silent burdens on their little shoulders—some that even their parents might miss in the hustle and bustle of daily life. But we grandmothers? We have a secret weapon: time, wisdom, and heart.
Here’s a helpful guide on the most common school-related challenges our grandkids face—and how we, as their loving grandmothers, can gently spot and help them through it all.
1. Academic Pressure and Falling Grades
What to watch for:
- A sudden disinterest in schoolwork
- Avoiding topics like tests or homework
- Frequent stomach aches or headaches (especially on school days)
- Low energy or saying, “I’m just dumb”
How a grandmother can spot it:
When your grandchild starts avoiding conversations about school or brushing off questions about how they’re doing, it may be more than just teenage moodiness. A phone call, a video chat, or even a simple “How was your math test?” can reveal hesitation or sadness. Listen closely to their tone, not just their words.
How to help:
- Praise effort, not just grades
- Remind them that learning is about growing, not being perfect
- Share your own school struggles—this makes you more relatable
- Offer to help with homework or arrange a quiet time to go over things together
2. Friendship Troubles or Social Anxiety
What to watch for:
- Not mentioning friends like they used to
- Wanting to skip school events or parties
- Becoming withdrawn or spending more time alone
- Saying things like “nobody likes me” or “I don’t fit in”
How a grandmother can spot it:
Grandchildren tend to open up when they feel safe and not judged. Ask soft questions like, “Who’s your favorite person to sit with at lunch these days?” or “What’s something funny a friend did this week?” If they hesitate or seem unsure, there could be something going on.
How to help:
- Share stories about your own childhood friendships and awkward moments
- Offer role-playing games to practice social situations
- Reassure them that it’s okay to have just one or two true friends
- Gently remind them that everyone feels unsure sometimes
3. Bullying—Both In-Person and Online
What to watch for:
- Changes in mood after being online or after school
- Torn clothing, lost belongings, or unexplained bruises
- Refusal to go to school or take the bus
- Overreacting to small teasing or becoming defensive
How a grandmother can spot it:
Children don’t always use the word bullying. They might say things like, “It was just a joke,” or “They didn’t mean it.” Watch for patterns. If they flinch when certain names are mentioned or always seem anxious when school comes up, your antenna should go up.
How to help:
- Assure them it’s okay to talk about how others treat them
- Ask open-ended questions like “Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable?”
- Offer comfort without pushing too hard
- If needed, alert their parents or school counselors
4. Difficulty Concentrating or Managing Time
What to watch for:
- Incomplete assignments or last-minute cramming
- Messy backpacks or constantly losing things
- Frustration over tasks that used to be easy
- Zoning out or excessive daydreaming
How a grandmother can spot it:
Ask to see their planner or weekly assignments. A quick peek into their school bag can tell you a lot. You can also casually ask what their typical school day looks like. If their routine seems chaotic or rushed, they might be struggling to manage time and focus.
How to help:
- Teach them old-fashioned but effective time tricks (like lists or timers)
- Break big tasks into smaller goals
- Encourage routines for homework and sleep
- Share how you used to stay organized—even if it was just “good ol’ checklists!”
5. Low Self-Esteem or Self-Criticism
What to watch for:
- Saying “I can’t,” “I’m dumb,” or “I’ll never be good at this”
- Constantly comparing themselves to others
- Avoiding new activities out of fear of failure
- Focusing too much on appearance or popularity
How a grandmother can spot it:
Listen for the language they use when describing themselves. Do they roll their eyes at compliments? Do they downplay their own talents? That’s often a sign of inner insecurity.
How to help:
- Speak words of affirmation often
- Remind them of times they’ve overcome challenges
- Create a small scrapbook or jar filled with their strengths and kind words
- Be their loudest cheerleader—even if it’s just for trying something new
6. Being Overbooked or Overwhelmed
What to watch for:
- Constant tiredness or irritability
- Jumping from one activity to the next with no downtime
- Complaining about too many responsibilities
- Saying “I just want to rest” more often
How a grandmother can spot it:
Children today are often pushed to “do it all”—sports, clubs, lessons, and homework. Ask about their week. If they list 7 different commitments, you’ll know they may be running on fumes.
How to help:
- Remind them (and their parents if needed) that rest is not laziness
- Offer quiet, peaceful time with you—like baking, coloring, or reading
- Teach them the power of saying “no” or choosing what brings joy
- Encourage balance instead of busyness
7. Unspoken Emotional Stress at Home or School
What to watch for:
- Sudden changes in mood, sleep, or appetite
- Withdrawing from activities they used to love
- Being overly clingy or quiet
- Showing anger in unexpected ways
How a grandmother can spot it:
Sometimes, the challenge isn’t a subject or a friend—it’s something deeper. A move, divorce, a teacher they don’t like, or even world events can weigh heavily on a child. As grandmothers, we can often notice subtle emotional shifts others overlook.
How to help:
- Be present and patient
- Let them talk when they’re ready (sometimes over cookies and milk!)
- Offer to pray with them or journal together
- Remind them you’re always just a call or hug away
Final Thoughts from One Grandmother to Another
We don’t need to be school counselors, psychologists, or teachers to be a powerful source of support. We just need to be ourselves—the loving, observant, heart-first grandmothers we already are.
Sometimes all it takes is sitting beside them, noticing the worry in their eyes, or hearing what they don’t say. The gift we carry is the ability to listen deeply, respond gently, and offer steady love. So keep your heart open and your eyes soft—you just might spot the exact thing your grandchild has been hoping someone would notice.
And when you do, don’t underestimate the power of saying:
“I’m here, I love you, and we’ll figure this out together.”