An Open Letter to the Grandma Who Has Regrets

I have lived a very long and happy life and feel more blessed than I deserve. God has given me a wonderful husband, beautiful children, and the world’s most incredible grandchildren (not that I am biased or anything, hehe), and for that, I give Him praise and thanks every minute of every day. While life is beautiful, there have been moments that weren’t so rosy. 

I raised my voice to my children more than I like to admit and wasn’t always as gentle in my words as I should have been.

There have been many times when I was not quick to forgive and let a grudge get the best of me. 

During disagreements, I have said things to my husband that were not kind and that I did not mean. 

I am not perfect – far from it, in fact. While many of my regrets happened many, many years ago, the guilt still lingers in the back of my mind, no matter how much I try to make it go away.

Do you ever get these nagging thoughts, too?

One day, when these intrusive thoughts were popping up more than usual, I decided to sit down and process it the best way I knew: To write it out. The result is this letter, which I wrote for you and me. I pray that it brings you solace and, if you need it, helps you see that you are more than your past. 

As I sit down to pen this letter, my heart is filled with a lifetime of emotions - joy, gratitude, and, of course, my fair share of regret. I've been blessed with the riches of a loving family: a devoted husband, wonderful children, and the most amazing grandchildren (yes, I know we all say ours are the best!). Yet, amidst these blessings, the shadows of past mistakes and harsh words sometimes cloud my sunny days.

I often wonder if I am the only one who does this. Life is beautiful, yet I sometimes feel so consumed by what I said - or didn't say - that it drowns out all of the good around me.

Do the echoes of raised voices, the sharp edges of hastily spoken words, and the coldness of old grudges ever visit you in quiet moments? These ugly thoughts are like unwelcome guests that remind me of my imperfections - but how can I/we close them out?

There were times when I wasn't the mother I aspired to be. I lost my temper and spoke words in frustration that I wished I could swallow back the moment they left my lips. And my dear husband, God bless him - he's seen the not-so-angelic sides of me more times than I care to remember. Those moments and words hang in my memory, stubbornly clinging on despite my attempts to let them go.

But here's what I've learned and want to share with you: we are more than our past mistakes. We are grandmothers, mothers, and wives, but we are also human. We've loved, we've lost, we've erred, and we've grown. The fact that we feel regret shows that we care deeply and that our hearts are still tender and full of love.

I've come to realize that forgiveness, especially forgiving ourselves, is one of the bravest things we can do. (After all, it's an act of kindness that heals old wounds and paves the way for a more peaceful heart.) On those days when the guilt tries to sneak up on you, remember that you are loved, valued, and needed.

You are much more than your worst day. 

You and I have lived lives rich in experiences, and these experiences, good and bad, have shaped us into the women we are today - women with strength, compassion, and wisdom. It's been a journey that hasn't always been easy, but would we be the women we are today if it was? 

If there's one thing I want you to take away from this letter, it's this: You are more than your regrets. You are a source of joy, a beacon of love, and a testament to resilience. Our families don't need our perfection but rather our presence, love, and authenticity - flaws and all.

In the future, let's promise each other to embrace the days ahead with gentler hearts toward ourselves. 

Let's fill our days with laughter, love, and the joy of being grandmothers, cherishing every moment we have with our loved ones. 

And let us never forget that every day is a new opportunity to be the wonderful person our grandchildren already believe we are.

I hope and pray that these words reassure you that you are more than your past regrets – so much more, in fact. Remember – you should never judge someone by their past (including yourself), as they do not live there anymore. As always, God bless you, my fellow Devoted Grandma, and let’s talk again soon.