If you are a regular Devoted Grandma reader, you know I like to keep things light and highlight all the highs that come with being a grandma. However, there are also lows, the worst of which is not seeing your grandchild.
I know that everyone’s situation is different and that you may not get to see them because they live far away or because some other factor affects your relationship with your grandchild or their parents. No matter the case, this letter is for you – the grandma whose heart aches because she doesn’t get to see her grandchild.
To the grandchild that I never get to see:
Never in a million years did I think I would have to write a letter like this – a letter to the one I love most but never get to see.
When I envisioned my life as a grandma, I pictured ice cream dates on a hot summer day, cuddly read-alouds before bed, and stories and inside jokes that only we would understand.
I dreamed of jumping in puddles, planting a garden we’d share, staying up extra late on Christmas Eve, and waking up too early on Christmas morning.
I loved being a mom and everything it entailed – the late-night feedings, school programs, PTA meetings, and sporting events. I was front and center for everything and looked forward to the day when I could do all these things for you, dear one.
I was going to be your biggest fan – I am your biggest fan. Instead of leading the cheer section, I sit on the sidelines, trying to catch a glimpse of you whenever I can.
All I ever wanted was to be a grandma.
All I ever wanted was you.
Now you’re here, and you are everything I could have imagined and more with your bright eyes, warm smile, and cheerful demeanor. You are everything I envisioned and prayed for. I longed for you all my life, and now you’re here.
You’re here, but my arms are empty.
You’re here, but my heart is heavy.
You’re here, but my soul aches.
My soul aches because you’re here, but I can’t have you.
I can’t see you.
I can’t touch you.
I can’t feel you.
You are my everything – my heart beating outside my chest, my pride and joy, my treasured and beloved grandchild.
The recliner I pictured us sitting, rocking, and cuddling in sits empty, with the lamp next to it permanently turned off. There is no use in sitting there until I can hold you again.
All those blankets I planned to make you, the crafts I bought for us to do together, and the movies I want to watch with you while we munch on popcorn – for now, they are locked away until we can be together again.
Though we can’t be together right now, I pray you know you are loved beyond measure and that you are the light of my life.
I know this isn’t forever.
It can’t be forever.
I won’t let it be forever.
While we can’t be together now, I know in my heart that there will be a day when we will be together again. Until then, I will be dreaming of you and that wonderful day when we are reunited.
You are worth the wait.
You are my joy.
You are my life.
You are my everything.
You are my grandchild.
I know many grandmas to who this letter applies. My heart breaks for them – and for you if these words also resonated with you. Grandmas and their grandchildren should never be separated by distance or other factors. Please know that if these words touch you personally, I am always thinking of you and praying for you. God bless you from a fellow loving and Devoted Grandma.